modestskies

Feels so right

2011-02-04T08:45:00.007-06:00

Lol I don't think he knows I screen captured those but oh well! It's not like he knows about this blog so.. Pft yeah oh well! LOL Yee I Skyped with Isaac last night :) He was so cute! He's so cute :) We've been talking more and more everyday again. And it just feels so right :) But too bad he's gonna be busy all weekend to even come see me :( Even though it's gonna snow today and all ... Pft no biggie, right.... Lol but next weekend! ♥

Adrianna's coming over today. We're gonna catch up on our homework and stuff. And take pictures when it snows!! I have no idea what time that'll happen but more updates next time! :) Have a great weekend everyone!

Everything's back to normal

2011-02-02T15:44:00.019-06:00

So we broke up. And that's where we're both in the same page. We definitely rushed into it. We're starting afresh. Back to how we preferred things - more than friends, but not really "together". The whole title, boyfriend and girlfriend -- that was the problem. The obligation, the strings attached, I don't know. Is that weird that when we're not actually 'together' is when we feel like we are together, but when we're actually together, everything falls apart? It was the same shit too the last time we went out during that one summer.

The conversation right after that phone call, right after that break up, was good. We actually talked about nothing, in like a good way. We talked about us. He told me he wanted to work his way up to actually be my boyfriend and not just jump into a relationship. I couldn't argue with that. I later told him I'm glad we broke up, and right now we're pretty much on the same page, and on the right pace. Me saying how that phone call making or breaking us -- the break up made us. Everything's back to normal, ♥

Today. The power all over Houston and probably at many other cities kept going off. It's probably gonna be like that all week. But yeah, the power kept going off today IN SCHOOL, and Adrianna and I left school. LOL. This WHOLE day was just so good. Woke up in a great mood, got breakfast from Shipley's, the whole excitement in school with the whole power going off thing, going to the mall/stores/etc, lunch at Chipotle. (And we had to leave the mall/other places too btw bc the power went off there too!!) Dayummm. Oh and I did mention it was gonna snow this Thursday and Friday (as predicted) right?!! I'm so excited :) Maybe I'll get to see Isaac? Kiss + snow. Ah ♥

I've been cam-whoring outta boredom lately lol. My blog's tattooed with my face now Hahahaha (I actually took the time to edit them a lil'. And shit I figured that I had to upload the last picture to Blogger first so it's in like chronological order or something or like Idk how to explain but yeah anyway) Pictures from this morning when I was getting ready, but at the end decided to change my outfit last minute lol

Filling my void

2011-02-01T19:09:00.015-06:00

My school laptop lol

So bored in a cold weather's day. Taking all these random ass pictures of myself/my room filled my void for awhile I must say. Tonight: we're talking. Fingers crossed.

I want's

2011-02-01T16:53:00.004-06:00

The temperature's dropping gradually. It might snow Thursday/Friday!! But yeah, it's really, really cold outside right now. Almost describes how Isaac and I are. No phone call last night. He didn't even wanna talk about it. I'm sick and tired of this. I just want to talk about everything and get it fucking over with. I want things to change. I want things to get better. I want things to work out. I want things to be how it was. I want my boyfriend and I to have better communication, and a better relationship. Right now, it's shit. It's going nowhere, almost on a standstill. It's so cliché but I see these fucking couples, they're so happy. Happiness > everything, right? But. I'm not happy like THIS. I want us to talk. I want to us to be able to talk. I want us to talk, period. I want a lot of things, I know it's too much to ask for, but goodness gracious, how much longer is it gonna be like this? This 'rough patch' is killing me more and more day after day. And it's all I think about...

So be it?

2011-01-31T15:19:00.008-06:00

That was last Friday. Probably the only good time I had all of last week. This is all I'll upload for now.. Too bummed to even upload more pictures and stuff, and plus PHOTOBUCKET'S BEING STUPID RIGHT NOW. UPLOAD ERROR EVERYTHING. Shit.

Last night:

I think we were on the verge of a break up… I think we still are. All day this has been on my fucking mind. It feels like we both kinda lost each other. I’m not even sure if we’re even on the same page anymore. I don’t know what to say or think or feel or do. He’s confused. I’m confused. I just don’t get it anymore. We haven’t talked all day, but supposedly we’re gonna talk on the phone about everything (I hope,) because I told him I want to, but I just don’t know when. I think that phone call could either make us or break us. I’m really scared and nervous. I just like him too much to lose him. But this. This cannot keep going on like this. We need better communication, better trust. We have a lot to work on, that’s if we both want to work on it… Fuck

Yee

2011-01-29T07:10:00.007-06:00

I've been sick lately, well actually all week. But I really wanted to go out last night but really wasn't allowed to do anything last night (so my mom says) but Adrianna came over anyway. Dude what the fuck. Good night! We were like fatasses eating WhatABurger, then chinese food, then McDonalds. I mean, come on, who the fuck eats that much in one night?

More pictures when I get back from Dallas tomorrow! Going to, well, Dallas today!

And Isaac and I are okay now :) I like my boyfriend again because he's not that much of an asshole. Yee

I really hope it does

2011-01-26T18:45:00.004-06:00

This is way lovely. I wanted to call him yesterday, but he was drunk. The fuck? This is honestly getting more and more ridiculous to handle every damn day. He hasn't talked to me all day. All fucking day. I did text him saying "Hey!" but nada. I feel like shit because of this. Like, my days' been good, just this. This. I'm confused as fuck. And I don't know how much more I can take. This is sad. Day 5. I hope things change.. I really hope it gets better. I really hope it does.

Hot and cold

2011-01-25T16:38:00.003-06:00

Only because today's Tuesday and not Monday that I'm in a better mood, that I'll update this blog of mine, lol.

So. Isaac and I are together now. Before I get all mellow-dramatic, let me tell you a little something about my weekend: it was fucking great. Friday, yadayadayada Isaac came over and it was good <3 He asked me to be his girlfriend in a cute-sy way :) It was a good night.

Saturday. Holy fucking shit. Saturday. Got up. Went to brother's basketball game. Went to Stacy's sister's birthday after. Went home. Got ready. Lost $50 :( Went out with Adrianna. Met up with Carsen at Bucee's. Went to his house. My freaking ex-boyfriend. Lol. Trashed Carsen's house. LOL. He happens to throw his pizza right at my fucking white Vans. But still, I had a great time. Went to the mall just with Adrianna. Bought jewelry and thongs. LOL. Got Haley. Did way too much crazy shit. Dropped Haley off. Went back to Adrianna's house. Parents picked me up. Went home. Went to bed.

That ^ was TOTALLY summarised to the fucking core. I couldn't begin to explain or even go into details because so much happened, LOL. And some that it's just be better not to talk about :) Hahaha. Pictures? Next post, I promise! I'll post pictures that I've never posted before too. Photobucket's just being really stupid right now.

K but yeah, I'm rather upset right now about Isaac and I because I have no idea what's really going on. It's day 4 and I feel like there's already been distance and it sucks :/ I don't wanna talk about it too much because that just gets me angry. But I hope things really do work out, because I want them to. :/ Everything right now is pretty much hot and cold.

Fingers crossed!

2011-01-21T16:34:00.004-06:00

I get to see Isaac tonight :) Well that's if my parents let me. I still get nervous when I get to see him. Ah I hope tonight goes extra well <3 Today was so good, you guys. Adrianna picked me up and we went to get my Arizona peach tea and she went to get some Starbucks, and everything since just was really good! I hope everyone has a good weekend. More updates soon! + Pictures!

Revive this shit

2011-01-20T18:43:00.013-06:00

It's been way too long since I've blogged on Blogger. And so much has happened. I just turned 17 last week and this whole year, even though it's only been 20 days of it, has been pretty much a rollercoaster ride. Lots has happened, and my goodness, this tops any past year. My hair's gotten longer and healthier. My confidence is coming back slowly but surely. And I'm talking to Isaac again. And yeah I know it's crazy, and especially the last post I blogged about was entirely about him and all. LOL

He came over two Saturdays ago. We watched a movie and kissed and stuff. I haven't seen him since but I think I'm seeing him this weekend :) We text on a daily basis, talk on the phone and we even started to Skype :) We're not going out yet, which I guess totally doesn't matter all too much because it already feels like we are and besides, that's nothing but a label. We've talked about it but we're good right now. If we happen to go out, we go out. And I guess if anything, he'd rather ask in person because he's just cute like that :} All that shit in the past, we've talked about it. Everything's so much more comfortable now, and everything's just so good now. I can't even begin to comprehend, but I'm really happy with the way things in my life played out.

I'll update this blog regularly so stay tuned you guise! More pictures to be posted up soon! Have a great weekend!

Letting go

2010-10-11T13:47:00.002-05:00

Something's wrong. Something's always wrong. Something's always wrong with everything.

I've been thinking and thinking and thinking all about you and quite frankly, I'm just ready for you to leave my mind. All that countless memory is now bullshit to me because look where we are now. Look. We're like total strangers. You're still in touch with my best friends even though they don't talk to me about you, but what's up with that?

Almost a year and a half later and everything seems to have fallen apart for us. I'm so broken. I cannot forgive you for the shit you've pulled. We have yet to talk to each other in almost half a year, and I thought this sudden urge of reconnection of you did was gonna make us at least more forgiving about everything, which I would've tried to be, but you didn't even say sorry. You didn't fucking apologise. For anything. For shit.

You were that guy. You were the guy. I thought we had something. And now.. Now it's shit. I'm letting go. Of you. I'm letting go of the past.

Girl's Day/Night Out!

2010-09-26T11:18:00.008-05:00

Yesterday was so unplanned but everything just happens to all work out like that. Haha k so,

Around 3, Adrianna came over. Got ready. We went to Bed Bath & Beyond and JCPenny's with my mom. She dropped us off at Adrianna's house. Got ready. Changed clothes. See what's up. Drove around in Adrianna's wrecked car (hahaha). Went to the Willowbrook Mall. Went to Metropark. Met this super super super chill guy who works there. He's super chill, did I mention that? haha. Went around the mall somemore. Going in to every store pretending like we're fucking rich HAHAHA. This guy who said 'excuse me' HAHAHHAHAHA! Went to the food court and got lotsa food samples. Met up with Kevin (this kid I talked to but have never really hung out with til yesterday) and his brother. His brother was short! And they both were so shy (pffffffft, and I thought IIIII was shy, HA!) It was so weird LOL. Adrianna got a drink for a dollar which was $2 off thanks to some mexican creeper who worked for this one food court restaurant. And he asked if Kevin and his brother were me and Adrianna's boyfriend. HAHA GOD NO, they were so quiet and awkward. Went to the Apple Store. Didn't save all the pictures cos it takes way too long. Adrianna and I made an excuse to leave the mall without them(hahaha, bitch move? WE KNOW, lol). We left. Called Jacob. But he fell asleep? Went to BestBuy. Went back to her house. Ate. Called Travis. He came over. We went to Walmart. Travis didn't wear any shoes. Weird stares! Adrianna tried to pants Travis. He got pissed that he accidentally pulled off his own car key chain thing off around his neck outta anger that we lost his keys for awhile (HAHAHA). We looked for it for like 10/15 fucking minutes (HAHAHHA). Found it. Was cool. Got back in the car. Travis was driving really bad and Adrianna and I pointed that he needed to be a little bit more careful and he took it the wrong way and he drove literally even more insane on purpose, which was a douchebag move and a fucking stupid thing to ever do because getting in 2 car accidents in less than three months traumatizes a person OKAY. Awkward rest of the ride back. We were 'bout to get off and Travis was like 'I was just trying to get you guys to get over you guys' fear'. BITCH THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO DO IT. He left. Adrianna and I just chilled a little more at her house. Talked about the whole day. LAUGHED. Parents got me around 11ish and went home and went to bed.

Ah what a long day! I felt like we did so much! Hahaha great day, great day! And today, went to church at 9am so that we have time to spare before the Texans vs. Cowboys game today at 12! We went to get some breakfast from the Kolache Factory. Good food! Watching the game with the family! Yeah I know I live in Houston, but I'm going for the Dallas Cowboys! Go Cowboys! I'm excited for this game! Betting on this with Jacob! Yeeeeeee :] Parents' friends' are coming over tonight for dinner. Having steak, salad and Sopas I think! Mmm!

What a fucking great weekend, I'd say! Plus, my hair's growing! Ah, I love life :)

All other pictures and videos are with Adrianna, and I'll update more next time in another post! Have a great day, everyone! Xoxo

And I'm just lost

2010-09-23T18:15:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've let a lot of friendships just walk right by me. I'm as anti-social as I can ever be. K, no, I'm not exactly anti-social, but I'm timid, and on top of that, I just give up. I give up on a lot of things. Friendships. Boys. How I look. Well that's just how it's been lately. I just can't be happy happy, like I'm happy, but not happy happy happy. I want that feeling again. That feeling where I just feel invincible and nothing can ever put me down. That I have the confidence of a lion. That I have nothing to be afraid of. That there's something I can hold on to. That feeling where I don't crave for anything more and just be grateful as ever.

And it's not that I'm not thankful or appreciative right now, but there's just something that I can always tweak. And I'm just lost. That I'm letting everything get the better of me and that I'm letting everything go, whether they needed to be let go or if I just feel too tired to hold on to anything anymore :/

What a lovely Monday! :)

2010-09-20T18:49:00.007-05:00

Great day, great day! Stayed after school today and Adrianna came over after. Did homework and shizzzzzz. Anyway, just keeping this short, and I'll just go ahead and update you guys with some pictures! Pictures from Sept 16:

Sept 19: (just killin' time before going to church with my school laptoppp)

(This would be how my hair looks with I parted it the other way, HAAAAAAAA)

xoxo guys!

2010-09-19T08:52:00.001-05:00

“I look back and remember a time when I loved a lot of people and a lot of moments in ways with and without words. And sometimes the people and the moments loved me too. Sometimes I thought I could catch every thunderstorm. Sometimes I wanted to show you my grand canyon, my rocky mountain, my golden hour, my Ursa major, my Mississippi river. And I’m not fearless, but I loved you like I could learn how to be. I loved you like I always knew how to be. And when I looked out over the edge of what I felt like was the entire universe, I was terrified. I had never done anything like that before. But it felt so good to kiss the fingertips of regret, thinking to myself how lovely it would be to live life like it was the last time. How strange it is to be so often alone and so overwhelmingly alive. I am hemmed and halved, part of me loosely bound to things that I know will not last and the other half chasing after the infinite I’ll never have. But I’m listening. So catch me a thunderstorm. Show me how to love. Show me your grand canyon, show me your rocky mountain, your Ursa major, your Mississippi river.”

FUCK YOU

2010-09-19T00:43:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had that feeling of just wanting to somehow maybe FedEx a punch wrapped with a bow that when the person opens it up carefully with excitement that it'll just surprisingly attack them and they lose consciousness and you can go back to bed knowing they finally got their karma as they sincerely deserve it? Yeah I'm having one right now. :-)

fuckfuckfuck

2010-09-18T10:26:00.004-05:00

Hi. School's been really good, but I feel like it's been eating me up lately. I've been fairly stressing about some things. I got my school progress report and my grades weren't bad. 3 100's and 4 B's -- the lowest being an 81 -- and that still isn't good enough for me :/ Maybe I just overwhelm myself.. I don't know.

Friday after school, just right after school. I was going to hangout with Adrianna and we were gonna drop Paiton (or however you spell his name) to his house, and just in the school's parking lot (mind you!), a girl hits Adrianna's car. Holyshit dude, 2nd car accident I've been in in about 3 months.. I did get a text as it just happened.. and it's like weird. It's like a part of me's glad you cared to ask about it but it's none of your business but it's still aw but I shouldn't think too much of it or make it a biggie 'cause I don't want to have to talk to you much about anything type of weird.. But I'm not even going to make this about me. Adrianna's like broken. She's upset to the very core. And as cars amd buses passed by yesterday, like everyone kept looking and staring and saying fucking stupid shit. Damn dude.

We've sort of already has some kind of Post-Traumatic Stress from the last one. We get too paranoid of getting close to a car just from the thought of an accident happening again, and this shit happens.

Probably not doing anything this weekend :/ Maybe tonight, but I don't have the energy in my body to do anything. And if I'm in the mood tomorrow, I think I'll go to the beach tomorrow with my sibs and our family friend. I don't know, but other than that, I'm just going to have a chilled weekend.

From Tumblr

2010-09-11T18:12:00.001-05:00

As I think about it, Americans are not the only ones who grieve about the 9/11 tragedy. Think about those people that believe and are apart of the Muslim religion. This was the day that people started judging their people because of one group of people who did something horrible. They live everyday among people who persecute them still for their religious beliefs. Not all Muslims are terrorists, actually most aren't. Don't think only the Americans have it bad because of that day, a whole religion's reputation was smothered that day.

9/11

2010-09-11T16:30:00.007-05:00

I just have a few things I want to say. Just a few things.

I remember watching the World Trade Centre when it came out in theatres and that was overwhelming enough. Every year I've been here in America, more when I got to high school, our teachers have us talk and discuss about 9/11. And they have us remember that exact day - what we were doing, what we were thinking, what we were feeling, etc. Kids in my school here remember not knowing why they were being pulled out of schools, teachers coming out of the principals' offices crying, etc, it's like, man, that day.. That day, I have not much recollection of how I thought/felt. At that time, to be honest, I probably didn't feel anything or thought anything of it. I didn't understand anything, and I never thought it'd affect me much. But just listening to stories and getting a new perspective of how others is definitely eye opening.

I've literally spend the past few hours looking through pages and pages of posts/statuses/etc of 9/11 on tumblr/youtube/google/etc and it's even so much more overwhelming in so many ways. Just the emotions of people's faces and those last calls from actual victims.. I'm speechless. Now, this isn't a post that is meant to make anyone upset of offended, etc, but I just wanted to say a few things.. 9/11 is a big day for many, many people. A sad one, however. I just hope they're in people's thoughts; May the people who died in that tragic event Rest In Peace, and let's pray for their loved ones.

2010-09-11T15:14:00.007-05:00

I need to whiten my teeth again! Jeez Louis....

Anyway, 'am in a lovely lovely lovely mood. I'm liking how my parents have been quite linient (how do you spell that?) with me lately.. It's just nice, because now I've been able to do a lot more than just stay home. And the fact that Gage has a new car, and that Adrianna has a car, and that Travis has one too, it's so much easier to go to places because it's so hard to go places without one.

So last night was so good! Or yesteday. Like yes, the whole day yesterday. School was good. Great great greaaaaat. Then after school, drove to the Outlet Mall to get applications for jobs w/ Adrianna, then went home and then hung out with Gage, Kristin and Adrianna. Then Adrianna and Gage came over around 10 ish and stayed til 12ish. Went to bed around 1 in the morning. Ha, great day and night I'd say.

Maybe shopping with my momma and sis tomorrow, ?? I want to! I wanna buy a new purse! There's been really cute ones in Charlotte Russe! Getting my laptop from school next week, maybe Monday I think! I'm so excited (even though it's not all that great and that it's gonna be a pain in the ass carrying it around to and from school)! Ciao bellas!

Motherfucking

2010-09-07T23:19:00.003-05:00

That picture (feat. yours truly) is from this English project I'm working on.. It's about American Literature/History type thing. Motherfucking lame! But anyway, man, what's up? Today was so good, got Shipley's donut holes and a Monster drink for breakfast, yum! Hm, last week.. last week was great! Friday.. I remember Friday being a really great day. Went to Dallas right after school that day and came back Sunday night. Stayed at Tita Jing's new house, and swam at her new sexy big ass motherfucking pool! I got myself a really good tan, Id say :D Hung out with Adrianna yesterday, did some brutal ass motherfucking workout, and maybe that is why my legs, butt and abdominal hurts (LOL).

But school's getting lamer and lamer by the day, ISTG. Just motherfucking school itself. And maybe everything else that goes with it. I've never been any more anti-social in my life. It's like I'm building up this wall again.. This time, just higher.. :/ Agh. And plus, homecoming's next month.. I don't even want to go.. And there's also Halloween.. Eh :/ My last two/three Halloweens have sucked anyway, no expectations for this one. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes..

Anyway, I'm so ready for Thanksgiving holiday! Or Winter Break! 2011! OR EVEN BETTER, MOTHERFUCKING SUMMER 2011! Aghhh, why are the holidays so far away D: Oh wellllllllllllllllz, alright it's 10:56pm, I needa get to bed. Night everyone! AND OHHH, tagboard's up!

2010-08-31T19:38:00.001-05:00

2010-08-31T19:31:00.003-05:00

Seriously FML for still delaying my summer vakay fotos. That was taken at Hollywood, California. Great day that day! Yeah, little previewwww! Heheheeee ;D

Seriously,

2010-08-31T16:04:00.005-05:00

it's always Monday that sucks. But here comes along Tuesday, and everything just seems better. Loved today! Went to Key Club meeting (a club of voluntary work which I'm considering to join) after school today with Adrianna (who I think I hang around with way too much, haha) then went to McDonalds after. Dallas this weekend! I'm excited <3<3<3

Damn I should really bring my camera to school or something! Haven't posted pics up for awhile now.................................................... kbai

For two very AW3$OM3 people:
fuck you fuck you AND fuck you :)<3

2010-08-30T15:26:00.003-05:00

There's always something about Mondays that I don't like.

Hell, there's always something about something/someone that I don't like.

FUCK EVERYTHING, DUDE.

To summarise:

2010-08-29T08:58:00.004-05:00

The rest of the week of school was actually surprisingly good.

I think my life is so much easier now that my friends have cars and stuff. And my schedule, I'm getting used to my classes which isn't that bad. I've made new friends and I'm so much more chill in my classes, like I'm not annoying and obnoxious like previous years.

Tuesday, Travis drove Adrianna and I to school in the morning out of the kindness of his heart :) Then Adrianna came over after school. Wednesday, super great day! I did rode the bus though, but it wasn't that bad. But Adrianna did get her license that day! And so Thursday! Adrianna picked me up in the morning and after school, we went to Best Buy for a little while. Friday.. Friday was really REALLY great. Bout Monsters in the morning and went to Tacobell after school, and we saw Dustin, Andrew, Charles, Micah and the other Andrew and other people. It was so chill, and yeah it was just a super good day.

But I got into a fight with my mom that night, which sucked :/ But uhm, Tita Maan's family came over and stayed with us and they're actually leaving today. It was an alright weekend.

I honestly hate a few factors about some people, I can't even. Like, I don't know if I'm making a big deal out of things, and I know I've been gone so long that no one probably even cares, but like, what the fuck dude. So much for everything, really.

2010-08-23T21:54:00.002-05:00

Yeah so ask me how school supply shopping at Walmart was. And guess who I saw? Carsen and his girlfriend. I didn't see them together but it was obvs they went there together. Awkward, like I just avoided him/them. Wow, like really.

But well, overall, today was good. Did a lot. Tomorrow, Travis (since he graduated and doesn't have school but is such a loving friend) is taking Adrianna and I (and my sister) to Mcdonald's for breakfast! Great way to start off my day. Goodnight guys!

2010-08-23T19:02:00.003-05:00

Today turned out to be a really great day. Well maybe not so much for the school part, like it was alright, you know? I'll summarise school. Adrianna and her dad picked me up from the morning. I have 1st period with Adrianna and Nicole which was good! Uhm let me think.. Health class seems like a class I'd enjoy! Uh, lunch was not so exciting :/ Hm, after school, Adrianna and her mom dropped me off at my house. Then Adrianna and Travis came over, got me. We went to Subway, then the mall. Roamed around there for awhile. The mall's power shut down for a split second twice! It was so freaky! Uh, drove back to my house. Chilled, then they left. Then I had dinner and now here I am. Going school supplies shopping after I do the dishes (ugh! :P). Let's hope for a good day tomorrow too, yes? Byeeeeee!

Oh jeez Louise

2010-08-22T08:18:00.004-05:00

Dang dude! It's the last day of summer. I guess this is the day where I reminisce and summaries my summer into one post.. ? Ha alright well to be honest, this summer wasn't all that great. Well, no, the vacation roadtrip part was amazing, I'd never forget that in my life, but just other things. I had a lot of self thinking to do, a lot (A LOT) of alone time, a lot of trying to regain my confidence and trying to accept myself (which I have no idea still how it turned out..) and just.. I don't know. This summer was alright, to put it into a word. But for the rest of it, maybe even the whole year of 2010, not a year I care for to remember so much..

But I seriously hope Junior Year would turn out good. I have no expectation as of for first semester, but shit, let's see what goes down in second semester! I'm nervous as fuck for tomorrow, to tell you the truth. And usually I am, but this time, I'm more nervous than usual. I don't know what it is. Probably the fact that I don't know what lunch I have yet or what my classes are. Damn it, I don't even wanna think about school yet!

I've yet to pick out an outfit, which bag I'm gonna use, and all that shit. Agh whatever. I won't worry 'bout anything til tonight. For now, I'm gonna eat some breakfast, get ready, go to church, and then I'll worry later. Oh jeez Louise!

By John Lennon

2010-08-20T17:51:00.002-05:00

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. - John Lennon

August 14th:

2010-08-18T08:54:00.003-05:00

Ended the night by throwing waterballoons at the cars (or maybe more on the road, haha) over the fence in her backyard :) Twas a good night. Ha Man, I hate putting so much effort on Blogger for real. I spend my morning on reuploading this pictures to resize it on photobucket.. Gawd the vacation pictures are gonna be more of a pain in the ass but you know I do it for all you readers :P

Hello fellow-beings!

2010-08-15T18:31:00.008-05:00

I give up on my vacation post so I am restarting it and will post it up when I'm done (which could be at a very random day). Everything was too out of order. And it's so aklsjdfhalksdj 'cos I'm forgetting how some parts were but but but hopefully I'll remember as I view the pictures. Not all of it is gonna be up because there's just way too much pictures and plus the file's really large and plus + &+&+&&+&+& it takes forever for it to be uploaded. AND Blogger was a big pain in MY ass for the longest time to begin with so you gotta be patient with me on this process as well. :}

Last night was hellerzzszs gewwwwd. I'll upload those photos when Adrianna sends them to me. Gonna brush up on my ever so great piano skills.. JK, I don't even play the piano. I'm just gonna go find something to eat :) Ciao!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

2010-08-13T12:09:00.006-05:00

I finally worked out! I know most might think it's something stupid to be boasting about but hey, whatthefuckever :P Working out twice a day for the rest of the summer, then when school starts that I'd hopefully have the time to work out at least 3 times a week. I just need to get really super toned. I'm .. Crazy.. ? Haha. And I believe by Christmas time, my hair would be how long it used to be or maybe I could get another haircut to cut all my dead and split ends :P LOL

Hm so so so what's going on, you guys? It's Friday the 13th :O lol Man WTF IS GOING ON WITH MY BLOGGER? Ha anw I'm gonna read my summer book today. This whole week I didn't do anything and I didn't go out :( Im upset about my mom's laziness of driving me to places and her restrictions! But you know what, at least I'm making today productive in my own way. Adrianna's party tomorrow and she gets her license on the 17th so maybe I'll be able to do a lot more next week :) School's in 10 days.. Damn it!

xoxo

All my might

2010-08-10T23:23:00.005-05:00

I still can't upload shit on Blogger. Whut tha feck

Gonna gather all my might and hopefully work out tomorrow. Please, please, please, Anna, have the strength and motivation. Come on!!!

2010-08-09T18:50:00.007-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE & HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO ALL SINGAPOREANS ♥
(What a shitty text font color shit thing I did there LOL) Oh How I miss Singapore so! & Today's also pretty significant for it is 080910. Great day today, yes yes. [edit] I think I'ma jump on the bandwagon and get on with the Twitter, yeah? Follow me @ annnaaac (Or not, haha) [/edit]

Teeheehee

2010-08-06T13:40:00.003-05:00

Damn this computer/internet! I'm trying to my posts with pictures and the freaking internet doesn't work 'til someone fixes it and I'm just like %&^*#6$&%(@#&%. That's why I haven't been updating. But anyway, Angelica's birthday was 4 days ago and she turned 3 :) My baby sister's growing up.. Haha And aside from the excitement of her birthday, Tita Kathleen and Kevin stayed with us since Tuesday but they just left today. Their company was fun, we went to Kemah yesterday which was cool. Gawd! I wish I could upload pictures! Im still not done with my vacation photos, which THAT would be a pain in the ass, but fuck my computer! (Lol)

Tomorrow's Angel's birthday party so Joyce and I are helping my mom cook tonight and tomorrow. Woohoo for mother-daughter bonding, ay? :D Also, I skipped Orientation (teeheehee). Adrianna's party's next Saturday, that's something to look forward to! Lotsa plans next week, I think. Man, August is looking like a good month but shit, summer's coming to an end :( Definitely very anxious about school.

I realise I've been very distant from a lot of people. Weird.

That's just life

2010-07-31T08:41:00.008-05:00

A formspring question that almost kinda got to me more than it should: "i guess there's lesser and lesser people that have remember you."

I've always like to think that I had made a very lasting impact and impression to everyone before I left Singapore. I mean, hopefully I did, but I guess that doesn't underestimate the fact that when I leave, I would lose a number of good friendships, that I would lose in contact with a lot of people, that the time difference would really really suck, that I had the slightest chance on seeing them any time soon at all (and it's been 4 years since I left and I haven't gone back once), and probably a million other factors that go along with this. But dude, mind you, I still try my hardest to keep in contact with the important ones. And sure, lesser and lesser people remember me, but maybe that's just life. I just think that's highly blunt of you to have said that because you probably don't even know me, let alone even know who DOES still remember me or what even goes on in my life.

6 or so month belated birthday present

2010-07-30T08:40:00.004-05:00

HOORAY FOR CRAPPY PICTURES! Went to Travis's house yesterday with Adrianna. It was really cool, ha. Went swimming and all that shiaaat, and Travis gave me my 6 or so month belated birthday present (hahaha, but I guess better late than never). And we, being all hungry and all, decided to go to Subway. Yeah, it was 2 miles away, but we didn't have a ride so we WALKED. So in foot, it took us AN HOUR to get there! Damn, it was a WORK OUT! Adrianna's mom picked us up from Subway and took us back to Travis's house to get our stuff then dropped me off at my house. But yeah, it was a suppppperrrrr good day :)

& Who watched Jersey Shore last night? I diddd! Lol Well JR's Summer Art Exhibit today! Baaaaai

Perfect Stranger

2010-07-28T08:49:00.005-05:00

It's been raining ALOT lately, what the hellllllllz. Anw, holyshiaaat! Orientation is next week and I do not want to take my Yearbook Picture. Man, summer's almost the end and I feel like I've done absolutely nothing! 3 more weeks or so left :/ School starts August 23rd I think. Damnit! But I'ma be a Junior, yeyeyeyeuhh! I bought my summer reading book titled 'The Catcher in the Rye" - Hopefully it's good. I also bought "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soule: The Real Deal" just for my own leisure - which is supposedly gonna be me feel better 'bout myself - hah. Anyway, time for some breakfast! Toodooloo

Happy Birthday to you, Perfect Stranger.

Lovely

2010-07-26T07:46:00.009-05:00

Okay look, the vacation pictures are still save on drafts because I still haven't got all the pictures from my mom's laptop. So, just. Yeah. Anyway, it's been lovely these past few days! I seriously think I'm gonna work out today. I need to work out today! Ha probably gonna go to Barnes and Nobles to get my summer reading book tonight. I have no idea what's planned for this week but we'll see! Later 'gators

Three things

2010-07-24T07:49:00.001-05:00

1) Facebook was not how I wanted to start out my morning.
2) It's way too early.
3) Fuck, I feel like I've been the BIGGEST pessismist lately.

Thank God

2010-07-22T20:17:00.008-05:00

I just got home awhile ago and what the fuck. We got into a car accident today! Shit man, it was insane. It was raining really hard and on top of that of what we later found out, there was oil on the road. With no exaggeration, we could have gotten really hurt or maybe even died, and I'm being for real. It smashed into the car infront of us. And the next thing we know, Adrianna and I were just in awe, and Gage.. Ah, Gage. I can't even begin to describe what state he was in.

Gage's car was severely damaged and his car got towed, but at least he didn't get a ticket from the police or anything, and that I think he's getting a rental car paid by his insurance. Man, today was a good and bad day but thank God we were all okay and no one got hurt. Thank God, and I do not say that in vain.

Intervention

2010-07-22T11:48:00.005-05:00

I know I've been putting it off for the longest time with the whole vacation picture thing, but I've just been very.. Ah, I won't say depressed.. but I haven't been in the best mood. I don't know, I just have so much going on for me, kinda. And ah..

But yeah on the bright side (sarcasm), my parents decided to have me stopped blowdrying and straightening my hair. My mom bought me Biotin (it's vitamins that helps your metabolism, skin, hair, and nails) and these shampoo and conditioner to help my hair grow healthier faster and longer. My parents and I had the longest discussion about me this past weekend. I don't know, it's like I have such low self-esteem, even though I play it off well with what I've been calling 'my fake confidence'. I cover my "exterior flaws" with make up and doing my hair, and whitening my teeth, and all that stuff. My parents just figured it was time for an intervention.

Anyway, going downtown with Adrianna and Gage. Hopefully today's a good day!

+ Happy Belated Birthday to Joan Lai! & my dad ♥

Discard

2010-07-14T09:08:00.005-05:00

I apologise for the mental breakdown I had on my other post, but there's.. Or was just alot going on in my life awhile ago. I just discarded everything I just wrote. Not even worth explaining it. Anyway, hey! I'm back! Well, since Sunday actually. I haven't really been doing anything though. I have a dental appointment today and that's probably the first time since I got home that I'd go out. Oh And It's Adrianna's birthday today! I need to get her birthday present for her party Saturday. Damn I've just been lazy, and out of it. And I spent the whole day yesterday watching the Pretty Little Liars marathon. I've just missed too many episodes and it got me hooked for a good afternoon, ha. Okay so I still have to get the pictures from my mom's laptop then I'd update about my vacation on the next post, I promise.

Hm I think Ima make Mi Goreng for breakfast haha Xoxoxoxo!

For real?

2010-07-11T21:24:00.004-05:00

This is what I came back to? Full of fucking bullshit that I don't need. I feel so overwhelmed with negativity, I can't even. I'm sick and tired of all this fucking stupid nonsense from like what, 50 different people that I don't need to put up with, I'm just about to fucking explode of frustration. My vacation was great and now it's like I don't even know why I was so excited to come back. Fuck.

M.I.A.

2010-06-19T07:16:00.008-05:00

M.I.A. M.I.A. M.I.A. BITCHES ;D
I'm leaving today! And I'm suuuuuper excited! Ha I probably don't have a choice but to go on a hiatus D: But I promise to update whenever I could get ahold of a computer/house. Or if not, I'll just blog when I get back. With lotsa pichaaaaas ;D Baaaiiii gaaaaaizz! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo ♥

Today's agenda: PACK!

2010-06-18T07:36:00.002-05:00

Last night was a good night. I got my phone back, my parents bought me a carpet to put under my dressing table and THE LAKERS WON! Watched the game with my family last night and I was rooting for the Lakers all the way, baby! Boo you freaking Celtics! Haha ;D So today's agenda: PACK!, and finish Father's Day video with my sister. I'm in a great mood! And I'm so excited for my vacation! Baaaaaaiiii

WORK OUT, DIET & TAN

2010-06-17T13:09:00.006-05:00

Water with lemon and a teaspoon of honey is suppose to stop your craving for food. Hmm, I'm gonna try that! I need to lose at least 5 lbs before I go back to school in August, or at least tone the fuck out of my body! I gained weight since the last time I checked my weight, now I'm a whopping 104 lbs. I wanted to faint! And I'm losing my tan! :( I wrote WORK OUT, DIET & TAN across my mirror, hopefully that motivates me! But on the bright side, my hair kinda grew, and I chopped some more layers on Monday to even out my hair, which I'm content with for now. But Goodness! I'm obsessed with trying to better myself, it's really stupid.. Anyway, I was suppose to chill with Ana and Gage today, but I don't know if I want to anymore because ... Ah never mind, too long of a story. Aite latuh maynnn3

Nice going

2010-06-17T09:01:00.004-05:00

I probably have the weirdest sleeping disorder ever. I spent a long while trying to sleep lastnight at around 11-ish, but ended up starring at the wall 'til 12-ish. And here I go, waking up at 7-ish. Shit! And sleeping was uncomfortable because when I had removed my bedsheets yesterday afternoon, I had forgotten to put new ones on after (Wow, nice going, Anna!). And by the time I had realise that, I was too lazy to go get it. Geez, this was a pointless post. And I need to whiten my teeth today before I go on vacayyy on Saturday! Byebyeebyebeybeybeebeyebeyeeee

X SY TUD

2010-06-16T17:27:00.006-05:00

Just had an hour and a half nap :) Decided not to do anything today but stay home, maybe going out with Gage and Ana tomorrow, but I don't know if I want to. But anyway, so today's been rather productive, I'd say. My carpet stains are gone, and we did some major spring.. summer cleaning. Changing my bedsheets later, probably.

So I'm excited to go to our family-roadtrip-vacation thing! We're leaving this Saturday to go to Dallas for Gabriella's first birthday :) Then we'd be heading for other places like New Mexico, Arizona, Las Vegas!!!!!, Oregon, California!!!!!!!, I think Vancouver (Canada) and some other places that I can't remember right now. I'm dying to see Las Vegas, and the hotel we're staying is pretty nice. The Rio. !!!. We're stopping by here and there along the way to see all these sites and stuff.

I'm freaking X SY TUD! :o) Latuh man! I needa take a shower.. Hahah

FuuUuuUuUUnnNNNnnN

2010-06-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

Tanned @ Adrianna's on Monday and I did one of those tan-tatoo things Hahaha and I got pretty tanned too, ha but I think it faded.. :( Anyway, hung out with Michelle and Adrianna today, or I mean yesteday since it's passed 12 right now. Drove to Tacobell, Bestbuy and all that stuff. FuuUuuUuUUnnNNNnnN haha, today was a great day, to say the least. Not uploading pictures Haha oh well! Goodnight/goodmorning you guys!

Five hours of sleep

2010-06-14T07:31:00.004-05:00

Five hours of sleep. Five fucking hours of sleep! Slept around 2 and woke up at exactly 7, damn. What's the deal? Anyway, tanning at Adrianna's today. Still needa get in touch with Gage though, since I need a ride to her house. Agh yeah, did I mention my mom hasn't given me back my phone? Actually, it's okay. To be quite frank, I'm content with just being allowed to hang out, and maybe I don't really need my phone. I guess I just missed it for awhile to fill my void of being grounded (lol wtf?).

Anyway, I really like my horoscope for today: Relationships of all kinds are likely to be strengthened by an increased level of understanding today, Capricorn. Your thinking is greatly enhanced by your emotional intuitiveness, so you'll be more able than usual to identify with the needs and desires of those around you. As a result, acquaintances could become friends, and friendships could progress into bonds that last for life. Romance also benefits from intensified empathy. Enjoy.

<3 Alright man, latuhhhh!

By 5 minutes

2010-06-14T00:36:00.003-05:00

Guess who's ungrounded, bitches?! Well at least for three days. Came up with a compromise with my parents which I'm surprised they agreed to, but I'll give them credit for that. I guess my summer's not gonna go too bad. Alright well I just looked at the clock: 12:39AM, I missed 12:34AM by 5 minutes, damn. Good night!

/Goodmorning.

I miss what we had. So much.

Psychotic

2010-06-12T08:06:00.004-05:00

Agh. 365 days later, and we're like total strangers.

Is it just me or am I blogging almost everyday? That's like crazy to me! I hardly use to ever blog about the BIG happenings in my life, and I'd go on THE LONGEST hiatus just because there's always something new that happens in my life everyday that it was hard to start off a post about anything, but now my life's far from exciting and I jot every single detail down. Damn, I'm going psychotic! I AM SO BORED WITH MY GROUNDED LIFE. >:/

GAWD

2010-06-11T17:32:00.006-05:00

Third post for the day. The previous one was about nothing. Just felt like screaming it but I typed it down instead, I guess. Seriously bored outta my mind. As much as I don't use my phone, I kinda miss it. And I miss seeing my friends! I miss driving around town going to the weirdest places, doing the weirdest most random things! GAWD

However, sitting on my ass has made me "discover" some pretty cool/upcoming shows. Work of Art (as Ive mentioned before), Pretty Little Liars, Jerseylicious, The OCD Project. And The Real World New Orleans season is starting on June 30 and I'm SO getting hooked on that! And as for the rest of my day, I'm gonna try my hardest to do something productive. Ciao!

2010-06-11T15:06:00.000-05:00

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK

Sit on my ass

2010-06-11T08:53:00.005-05:00

Haven't worked out in 3, coming 4, days. However yesterday was a lovely day. Mom took us shopping for summer clothes and we bought alot :) Was fully satisfied, and after shopping, mom took us to a chinese restaurant for lunch. Today: mom's going out with her friends and I have to babysit my sibs, and I think I'm gonna sit on my ass watching America's Next Top Model's marathon, and my dad would be home tonight from his business trip. Ah, HOPEFULLY today's my last day of being grounded. Lol later 'gator!

Insanely excited

2010-06-09T23:19:00.004-05:00

I've been insanely excited 'bout this new show called Work of Art (the Next Great Artist), and I actually JUST finished watching the first episode of it that I just had to blog about it (even at 11 something at night), and Holy Shit was it good! I think this show's gonna make me appreciate art more and just by watching it, I hope to learn alot from it for my ART 2 class for Junior Year (which reminds me I have to change my schedule again and stop by the school to turn in the slip by tomorrow!!)! Alright well I'm gonna go to bed soon, my mom's taking us to the Outlet Mall tomorrow so tomorrow should be a really good day :) Gdnite!

HAWT

2010-06-09T09:33:00.004-05:00

The weather's been pretty ironic lately. It's summer, yet the weather's rather dark, and gloomy, and it rains! But it's kinda cooling, so I appreciate that during this season since it's probably gonna be scorching HAWT for the most part of summer. Been using my time wisely, cutting magazine pages and putting them on a blank wall I cleared up in my closet since I'm not allowed to put them on the walls of my room. Well today's a beautiful day, Goodmorning!

Xoxo

2010-06-07T22:58:00.010-05:00

I miss my hair long! D: But I'm really happy right now. I have been lately (Or maybe just since yesterday; Lol). I think it's because my mom and I are okay and stuff. And my mom cooked Chicken Rice today! Mmm, yum! I love and miss Singapore food so much! On like Friday I think, my mom made Chicken Curry :D My mom's still big on cooking like local Singaporean food, which is really cool :) And Hopefully I get ungrounded by next week. I needa get out more! And meet new people! Fo real! And I've been really excited 'bout me working out and all that 'cause like, I'm just feeling all lively and healthy by every second of my new lifestyle! And by the time summer's ending, my hair's should've grown 'bout an inch or so :) Ha All this for the preparation of Junior year! Alright well Goodnight YA'LL (Xoxo from Texas!)!

Are you

2010-06-06T13:21:00.005-05:00

Nostalgia

2010-06-05T15:23:00.006-05:00

So much has changed since last summer. And I can't help to think how I took alot of things for granted. Shit. I've been feeling ever so nostalgic lately. I live beneath a series of happy memories but sometimes I just feel so empty. Like, as if something's missing. But I just don't know what it is.

Oh lordy I'm so moody and I sound like I'm seriously depressed or something, which I'm not BTW! I'm just overly over over overwhelmed with alot of stuff, I guess. Hm anyway, worked out last night and working out again tonight and probably for the rest of the summer and/or maybe for the resta ma lyfe! I'm really trying to get in real real real good shape before junior year to make dem boys hollaaaaaaaa :} Oh goodness, can you say LAME?

Nothing's gonna change

2010-06-04T09:25:00.005-05:00

So two hours after my previous post, I got grounded. Three weeks, to be exact. Three fucking weeks. And just yesterday, my mom decides to take my phone. So, you can only guess how my summer's turning out to be. I wouldn't be able to chill with my friends 'til July 11, since I'm going on vacation from June 19 and I'd probably be back July 10.

Damn. My relationship with my parents, especially with my mom, is not getting any better. It's gradually getting worse after every "argument". The last thing I want is to create build up resentment to my mom. To my own mom. But as long as she doesn't TRY to understand me, as long as she doesn't try to understand where I'm coming from, and as long as she doesn't try to understand my point of view of how I feel with at least some things, like I haved tried so much with her's, nothing's gonna change.

I'm so tired of this. I didn't eat all day til around 5/6 ish yesterday, just because I was avoiding to go downstairs. I hope it's not gonna be like that again today. Shit. I'm so tired of this.

First day of this season

2010-06-02T19:51:00.010-05:00

It's only the first day of summer and it has already been pretty fucking great.

Took my art final (which not to brag, but I thought I did very well at); Gage picked me up from school; We dropped Gabe off; Went to Gage's house; Went to get Adrianna at her house; Went to KFC/Long John Silver's; Ate; Drove further down towards Eldrige?; Invaded Target; Went to get Gage's graduation shit; Went back to Gage's house; Saw the cutest dog ever & took pictures with it (despite my fear of animals); Went to Adrianna's house; Swam; Couldn't tan because there was no sun; Rained; Gage left; Chilled; Dressed up like guys and walked around Adrianna's neighborhood (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA); Finally just chilled and ate pizza; Then home :)

Did alot today and I feel real good 'bout this summer. Adrianna gave me some vitamins for my hair to grow faster and to increase my metabolism. Seriously need to weight-watch/diet BIG TIME & work out like CRAZY. <333

So ready for summer

2010-06-01T21:47:00.002-05:00

Who's ready for summmmmmer? Haven't gone to school since last Wednesday but going back tomorrow for my last day to take my art final. Then chilling with Adrianna and Gage, maybe lunch then driving around and swimming at Adrianna's new pool. Big plans for this season <3<333

Survey

2010-05-26T22:20:00.004-05:00

Sleeping in tomorrow, and not going to school til Wednesday! Chilling tomorrow? Friday? Going to Dallas Saturday til Monday I think. Ha I can feel summer growing on mehhh <3<3<3 And now: Surveys!

U S E L E S S I N F O R M A T I O N
Name: Anna
Single or taken: Single
Sex: Female
Birthday: Jan 11
Sign: Capricorn
Siblings: 2 sisters 1 brother
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Brown
Height: 5'2

R E L A T I O N S H I P S
Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Straight
Who are your best friends?: Adrianna, Khairina, etc
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope
What is your longest relationship?: 7 or so months

F A S H I O N S T U F F
Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes: Anywhere cheap!
Any tattoos or piercings: 3 piercings
What is your most comfortable outfit?: Anything with a vneck
What do you usually wear?: Vnecks

S P E C I F I C S
Do you do drugs? Never have
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Pantene Beautiful Lengths
What are you most scared of?: Some animals.. Haha
What are you listening to right now: Nothing
Who is the last person that you called?: Adrianna
Who is the last person that called you?: Probably Adrianna
Where do you want to get married?: I have no idea
What would you change about yourself?: Oh gosh

F A V O R I T E S
Colors: Red
Foods: Anything spicy or delicious
Movies: Ah I cant really think of one
Animals: Fishes :)

H A V E Y O U E V E R
Given anyone a bath?: Yes
Smoked?: Nope
Bungee jumped?: In the near future!
Made yourself throw up?: No
Skinny dipped?: Lol no
Ever been in love?: Ish
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Many times
Pictured your crush naked?: No crush
Actually seen your crush naked?: ^
Cried when someone died?: Of course
Lied: No shit?
Fallen for your best friend?: Nope
Rejected someone?: Yes
Used someone?: I might've
Done something you regret?: Kind of

C U R R E N T
Clothes: To Write Love On Her Arms tshirt, shorts
Music: -
Annoyance: Nothing really
CD in player: -
DVD in player: -

L A S T P E R S O N
You left a message for: Dont remember
You texted: Justin
You cuddled with: My sister Angelica :)
You kissed: Logan

--------
Your Autobiography

Part 1: The Birth of You:
Were you a planned baby?: Im not sure
Were you the first?: Yes
Who was present at your birth?: Mom, Dad, doctors? Idk?
Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes
What is your birthdate?: Jan 11 94

Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?: God-fearing
Are your parents married? Yes
Siblings or an only child?: 3 siblings
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: Oldest
What are your siblings names and ages?: Joyce-almost 15, Jr-10, Angelica-almost 3
Which parent do you get along with best?: Both in different ways
What do you fight about?: Mom- 93% of everything, Dad- studies/boyfriends
Do you have step parents?: Nope

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: Yes
Who are your best friends?: Adrianna .. There's alot
What do you like to do when you are together?: Chillllllllll
Do you share the same interests?: Kind of but not really
Which friend can you tell anything to?: Adrianna, Stacy, etc

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: On a scale of 1-10, 5.5 for now
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: A little of both
Are you happy?: Yes, for the most part
Do you live life to the fullest?: I dont think so but I dont think of it as a bad thing

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comforable with the way you look?: Ish
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: Well my cartilage
Describe your hair.: Blaaah
What make-up do you wear?: Face and eye make up
How do you dress?: Typical

Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: Lol sure
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: Oh.. There's alot
Do you have the same friends?: Yeah
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: Not really

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: To travel, be an engineer/lawyer/dentist
Are you scared of growing old?: Yes
Do you want to get married?: Yes

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Indoors
What is your favorite season: Fall
Do you like walking in the rain?: Yes, sometimes

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegentarian?: Nope
What is your favorite fruit?: Oranges
What food makes you want to gag?: -
What is your favorite dessert?: Anything
What is your favorite restaurant?: Carrabbas, etc
Are you a fussy eater?: I eat anything and everything

Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: Single
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: -
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: One of it, yes
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Kind of

Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?: Ive had a few
What was one of your worst?: June 19th 2009
Have you ever done drugs?: Nope
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: I might've
Have you ever suffered from depression?: Nope

Quite accomplished

2010-05-25T22:05:00.003-05:00

In the past 6 hours, I baked cupcakes for Justin M, Justin C and my science class, did 81 questions of my Biology review, made cards and still had time to blog 'bout this. Lol I'm feeling quite accomplished :D

And Happy Belated Birthday to my Best Friend in the whole world since 2005 Nur Khairina Bte Husin! I miss you so much, my friend! I know we'll cross paths one day. I love you forever and ever and ever and I hope you're doing fine. & Talk to you soooooon <3<3<3

That chorus

2010-05-23T12:51:00.007-05:00

I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven

That song, that chorus in particular, it reminds me so much. So much of everything that it leaves me nostalgic. I don't understand why I still think of you.

In a flash

2010-05-22T06:47:00.007-05:00

It's actually starting to hit me. We're clearing our lockers, turning in our textbooks, getting reviews for our finals. Damn, sophomore year went by in a flash. I hardly recall the beginning of this school year. It's crazy how I realise time flies. Summer officially starts June 2nd at 11:30am. Oh, I can't wait!

And Damn Im up early

Own up to it

2010-05-18T19:21:00.023-05:00

This has been something I've wanted to talk about for a really long time, but I didn't want to seem or look ignorant by saying the wrong words in the wrong way. I therefore apologise in advance to anyone who might be offended by it but here it goes.

The people I surround myself with are people who smoke weed, pop pills, take tabs/ecstacy, get high/blazed, drug deal, smoke ciggarettes, snort coke, drink, etc. Everyone I surround myself with, with the exception of a few that I can count on one hand, without exaggeration, does, or has done, at least one of what I've just mentioned.

Like it's something that I see my friends, acquitances, bond about. It's something I see how conversations come about, people sharing their experience.

What's surprising is that most of them who are hooked on all that now, they initially tried it just to try it. Curiousity. And what now?

I've seen people come and go. Some go into rehab as early of the age of 15/16. Some fucked up their studies to the point where they can't keep up with their grades. Stopped going to school. Failed a grade. Repeat a grade. Dropped out. Gave up.

I, personally, don't quite understand anything. Okay, okay, maybe I don't understand anything of it at all. I understand, however, what people let me to understand. Because I, for one, don't do drugs, or smoke. I've never done it. I'm straightedge. Straightedge is, what I think is a made up word, for people who follow this lifestyle of not doing drugs, not smoking, or having casual sex (redefined in my own words). I don't prefer to label myself anything, especially the term "straightedge", but I've found it to be some sort of guide; I'd loosely compare it to almost like a moral.

I make decisions for myself like everyone does for their own. Good/bad. I decide for myself for my own benefit. Not to be an ignorant bitch who thinks she's better than anyone, but because I've lost myself so much the past few years that I feel like this is one of the things I have left in me that I can hold on to.

People who do that, I'd think it's most likely downhill from there. UNLESS, you know how to control yourself, or at the least know when enough's enough. And if you let someone make your decisions for you, then that's too bad.

I don't want to be a failure. And I'm not saying people who live their lives like that are going to be one, but there are people who let themselves do that. Be that. Maybe not with intentions, but when they finally realise it, would it be too late?

Please, again, don't think of me as being ignorant to be talking about such a broad subject like this, but it's just sad to see people I know, people I'm close with or not, turn their lives out like this. Let themselves go, basically. But why? All in the expense of what? Being the coolest, most experienced bad-ass out there? Where do they see themselves in 5/10 years?

Anything anyone does is ultimately their own self's decision, and I guess the jist of what I'm trying to say is own up to it. If you live it up within the moment right now, just don't regret it later down the line.

Mood: nostalgic

2010-05-17T21:12:00.005-05:00

Not to be weird, but you know who I just really thought about? Ben. He's given me so much memories I'd never forget in a lifetime. It's been roughly three and a half years since we last seen each other but I'll always remember him. His impact in my life can never be replaced or taken away by anybody because I'll never have another first love.

Barely acquitances

2010-05-15T14:21:00.006-05:00

My weekend is nothing of what I'd thought it'll turn out to be. Didn't even get to go to the art exhibit in my school lastnight, which sucks because two of my art piece are displayed. This morning, was with Gage, Chris and Logan (!). We all decided to chill at Mcdonalds for awhile (since Saturday Dhall was cancelled! Wow).

It was weird because I have not talked to Logan in such a long time. I didn't really even conversate with him so much, but he did initiate to say hey and he did say bye when he had to go. Both greetings ending with my name. I guess that's something but it feels like we're barely acquitances.

I don't know if I miss him or not. I liked the fact that when we were together, it was so good and he respected me and everything. And when we broke up, I thought we could have still been friends but.. Hm I don't know, I feel so vulnerable just thinking about the past. My past. Weird.

WTF

2010-05-15T06:27:00.004-05:00

WTF It's only 6:27am, and why am I up this early, you ask? Yes I am a morning person, but shit, I don't usually get out of bed this early for no reason. It's because I have fucking Saturday Dhall, which is like some detention type thing. Damn great way to start my day! Haha Anyway good morning I guess

Overwhelmingly good

2010-05-11T15:29:00.003-05:00

Saturday was really good, chilled and ate :D Sunday: breakfast from the Kolache Factory for my mommmy, white roses and cards, church at 5, then dinner at TGIF (Great food!). My days these past weeks have been overwhelmingly good and I thank God for that. I can't wait til summer <3<3<3

Trippaye

2010-05-08T10:50:00.001-05:00

KaleidoscopeepocsodielaK

You know what I want?

2010-05-08T08:25:00.003-05:00

I want to make a difference in your life and change it forever

Expectations shmexpectations

2010-05-07T20:29:00.006-05:00

Doing absolutely nothing tonight but chow down on some good snacks and watching movies all night long with my sister! Ha This week has been really, really good (Very surprisingly). Like honestly, my expectation of anything has lowered and now, it's like anything and everything can make my day. And completing my essay was like tasting heaven. Haha Adrianna's piano recital tomorrow and chillen' with da fraaaaaans. Goodnight!

Blank

2010-05-04T20:17:00.004-05:00

Seriously, To Kill a Mockingbird essay is murderin' me. I'm killing and wasting time. And I'm dead beat. Looking through pages and pages of words is piercing my eyes. Haha see what I did there? All my sentences relate to like killing and stuff... Cos I'm reading TKAM.... Which, by the way, has nothing to do with literally killing a bird of some sort.. Yeah wow I'm weird! Haha Anyway lately my horoscopes have been really accurate and I'm fairly surprised. And yesterday, for it to be a Monday, my day sure was pretty good. I Love Life <3

Fantastic

2010-05-01T08:10:00.004-05:00

Fantastic week. It's already May! TAKS is finally over and on Thursday I started P90X. It's like this intense work out thing you do for 90 days and you'd get all fit and in shape and stuff, it's.. Intense! I'm turning over a new leaf, a healthier one, that is. And even my horoscope for today says so:

Have you been thinking about getting fit by investing in some exercise equipment? If so, Capricorn, this might be the day to actually go out and get it. Don't be surprised if friends, relatives, and neighbors all want to come over and try it out. Health and fitness are very much on your mind right now, so you might also want to pick up some books on whatever discipline interests you the most.

Credits to horoscope.com by the way! And summer's just around the corner, about 4 weeks or so to be exact. Hopefully I can exempt 6/7 of my finals and my summer would start earlier. I've recently been a happier person and I think that's a good thing :D

Just maybe

2010-04-24T13:54:00.005-05:00

Last night, kinda realised something. I sit on the past so much. Is that bad? I don’t necessarily think so but it could get to the point that it could be. I always feel like there’s something I can tweak, or manipulate and change something from the situation and maybe things can get better from there. Or I try to hold on to the past, or try to go back to how great things used to be.

Whereas, that’s when I realised that maybe, some people are better left not being there in your life. That maybe things can’t just be picked up where it was left off. Maybe. Maybe they’re better being let go instead of always going through the same pattern of second chances and high hopes and disappointments. And maybe, just maybe, you don't really need them as much as you thought you did.

Whatever happens, happens.. for a reason.

Sloppy and shitty

2010-04-23T18:32:00.000-05:00

YOU ARE SO FUCKED UP and I’m done. I’m not taking that and that hurts me, to be honest, but you know what, fuck you. It was better knowing that before, it was me at fault for all the shit I put you through, but now that you did something real sloppy and shitty, it just builds so much anger and resentment towards you and I never want to talk or see or hear from you ever again.

Fuck everything, dude.

To my bruthaaa

2010-04-18T09:21:00.005-05:00

I couldn't find a better picture of just me and my brother, so I guess this of me and him like almost two years ago at Disney World/Land would do. It's Jr's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY NOW 10 YEAR OLD BRUTHAAA! Dinner @ Chilli's last night was crazy good. Today = Kolache Factory for breakfast and homework for da resta ma dhey, ya knowwwz?

Madness is genius

2010-04-17T08:46:00.005-05:00

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."

What's the difference?

2010-04-10T07:41:00.006-05:00

I don't feel too good right about now, sick like a motherfucker. But since today's my brother's last basketball game, I think I'm gonna go. Yeah, I promised my brother I will, haha. And great, no one's onlined!

"To me, I think love is something way stronger than like and more meaningful than lust, but "in love" is something more deeper than just plain love.."

Closure

2010-04-06T21:36:00.007-05:00

Easter Sunday was pretty cool, I must say.

So honestly, Adrianna's a really good friend. Without her, I wouldn't have actual closure with Isaac and I'm so content with everything now. Somehow Isaac just comes back into my life anyway, and I want him to always be there. I've just missed him, I guess. Hm oh yeah, this weekend I'm thinking of getting me a pet fish.. Whacha think 'bout that? Ha Well, goodnight.

Confidence?

2010-04-01T18:18:00.003-05:00

I wish I had confidence.

Great fucking day at school today, just because. Ha really no reason in particular. Good Friday tomorrow then Easter Sunday on, well, Sunday. I gave up chocolate for lent, did I tell you that? Well I did and damn, do I miss chocholate or what!?

But yeah I wish I had confidence.

Imperfections

2010-03-31T19:07:00.003-05:00

I want a tighter lean body. I want to be taller. I want my fucking hair to grow faster and longer. I want my thighs to be smaller. I want my face to be thinner. I want my eye lashes to be longer. I want to have abs. I want to lose weight. I want a smoother complexion. I want my hair to be healthier. Damn!

It's hard to embrace imperfections, but I guess they're what makes me me :/

PS/ Happy Birthday Nana & Kim!

Come what may

2010-03-28T13:28:00.005-05:00

That's me and my dad like FOREVER ago. "I was not comfortable you hanging out with guys but I decided to trust you and not say anything. Love you" -- My dad texted me that last night. It's comforting to know my dad's trusting me again after every fucked up thing I did to fuck up his trust, and that he's easing up on the fact that I'm not a little girl anymore, but that I'm growing up, that I'd have friends who are guys, that I'd have boyfriends, that I'd want to make decisions for my own. But come what may, I'd always be my daddy's little girl :)

Aw, cheesy!

Great ass day, I tell ya!

2010-03-27T22:52:00.005-05:00

Went to the Galleria today, mainly downtown, which was fucking awesome! Ha, also went to Burger King, BCSS, Global Chaos, Rave, Barnes and Nobles, gas stations, Game Stop, Jamba Juice, and all that other places, haha. Finally went to Adrianna's house after the crazy driving around Houston. Damn good weekend! Left my stuff at Gage's car and I don't get it back 'til Monday D; Anyway, finishing up Sweeney Todd tonight, and damn, that's some crazy ass movie! Haha Goodnight!

PS, I must say, trying to park at the Galleria parking lot took literally forever but was kinda the highlight of my day, haha. Great ass day, I tell ya!

No title in particular

2010-03-27T09:12:00.004-05:00

Hola, a recent conversation just reminded me how sane I am right now when it comes to guys. I realised I was boy-crazy for the longest time, since summer, really. I mean I'm not exactly a man-hater now, but shit, now I'm over it. Not really screw boys, but screw relationships. Summer's in a little more than 2 months away, and damn, am I excited! Chilling with Gage and Adrianna today, Galleria here I come! Goodbye!

Nana's birthday's in 4 days! Holy Moly, do I miss you or what!

I'M OVER IT, KTNX!

2010-03-25T19:44:00.004-05:00

Don't be fake and say you're my friend when you don't act like one. Ha, fuck them superficial friends. I'M OVER IT, KTNX! Haha. Anyway, lovely day at school, I tell ya! Ha, maybe this weekend would be good.. I hope! Maybe I'll get ungrounded and then spend my weekend having an adventure around the Galleria with Gage and Adrianna! Oh, yay :) And notice how I've been updating my blog rather frequent? All for the readerssss! ♥

A big blah

2010-03-23T20:53:00.003-05:00

Everything feels like a big blah, almost like a blur.
When's something exciting and spontaneous gonna happen?

Square 1

2010-03-19T11:48:00.009-05:00

Everytime I feel like we're growing closure, we somehow always end up starting back at square 1. Shit, I'm tired of fighting with my mom. Having disagreements with each other is so normal, but damn it, everything turns into the biggest deal ever, and I'm fed up with it. This whole Spring Break, or not even just that, like literally for forever, it's always been the same. The same words, the same expectations, the same results, the same everything. When we make up, it's like every word turns cliché.

I'm tired of always hearing I'm the one who can only make her cry. I'm tired of thinking I'M the only one who needs to "change". I'm tired of all this apology. I'm tired of hearing.. of feeling that I'm the only disappointment to her. That I'm never good enough. That every gesture I make is just alright, but she just expects more. I'm tired of not feeling appreciated fromt the small things I do. Fuck, I'm only 16. Don't expect me to know everything. And don't expect me to be perfect,

because I'm not nor would I ever be.

Chhhaannnngged

2010-03-17T08:04:00.003-05:00

I'm very much grounded right now, shit. Worst Spring Break ever (even worst than last year's).

So I just read all my super very old post on my blogs and shit, I've changed. And even then I thought I've changed, but now, like, I've chhhaannnngged. I miss how simpler things were, though, to be quite frank. I was so much more into the moment than I am now with worrying how every move could affect my future and whatnot.

I've really changed.

Damn.

Taking a personal day and maybe doing something productive. Later

Holyballs, what is Love?

2010-03-16T09:16:00.007-05:00

Holyballs!

What is Love?
It's definitely a feeling stronger than like, and something more meaningful than lust.

1 Corinthians 13; 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Woo hoo (POST WITH PICTURES)

2010-03-15T11:53:00.009-05:00

Like I "promised", peeeekkkkkktttttuuuurrresssssss (very out of order):

Homecoming -

(Travis Dessy Cooper Adrianna Anna Carsen)

Summer-

(rockclimbing!)

(during the summer w/ Isaac)

(Apple Store w/ Stacy!)

(Stacy and Kevin!)

I miss the summer season

Etc-

(first day of sophomore year w/ Lauren and Adrianna)

(Rhondo ME Adrianna Gage)

(girls night out! expen$ive shoes!)

(the day i turned 16!)

(W/ Michelle in our gym locker rooooooom!)

(W/ Breanna in our neighborhood!)

(twin daaaaay! w/ Travis!)

(the day it snowed! w/ Dustin)

(in Justin's caaaar haha)

(birthday dinner w/ family)

(I'm sixteeeeeeeeen)

(lol @ Gage's expression)

(Dustin and our neighborhood stray cat!)

Christmas in Lubbock-

(snoooooooowwwwwwww!)

Uh yeah, so it's Spring Break, woo hoo! And woo hoo for Pacquiao winning the fight against Clottey on Saturday which my parents got to watch LIVE! Ha, woo hoo!

Wow, I'm lame ? Haha, okay bye!

To say the least

2010-03-07T09:00:00.003-06:00

I fucking forgot my password to my original formspring account so I made a new one. Ha, http://formspring.me/modestskiesbs

Note: there's a "bs" at the end, so yeah.

Everything's pretty good in my life, actually. I'm content, to say the least. Having a pretty good weekend. Maybe next week, since it's spring break, I might just very well post a lot of pictures, all in one post or something, ha, cos I having been uploading any to this blog, nor to my friendster since I don't really use it, ha.

Ciao!

A homework question

2010-02-22T17:21:00.004-06:00

For anyone who still reads my blog.. Ha

http://formspring.me/modestskies

Ask me anything/ a how-are-you, ADVICES!, a homework question. You ask it, I'll answer it! Could be totally anonymous. This is just a substitute for a tagboard, ha.

Look at the brighter side of life

2010-02-06T22:04:00.004-06:00

I don't know why but I've become rather much of a pessismist lately, and I hate that. I used to be the one to tell everyone else to look at the brighter side of life (like literally, I would say that), but I've just let anything and everything get to me so easily. Sometimes, I just wish I could take my own advice.

Potential good night ruined, by the way.

Wished I knew then what I know now

2010-02-04T17:22:00.007-06:00

How's life? How is life? Man, I don't know. It's been fairly okay, I suppose. I trrrryyyy not to miss Logan too much, but I do. I feel like I didn't appreciate our relationship during our relationship, not until maybe towards the end. Ever had one of those moments where you wished you knew then what you know now? Yeah, I'm phasing that right now.

He has things to sort out with his family, and I understand that, I do. Or at least I try to. But I don't exactly know whether I should move on, or that if I can even move on. I mean, I don't really know the status between us. I know I like him, and he respects me, and things between us in a relationship were good.. But are all that enough to make me hold on? Or should I just let go? Maybe not entirely, but for now.. Maybe?